ABROAD: made in hong kong: real housewives CHRISTINE JAGOLINO

Lines outside luxury labels

I once told a friend that the housewives of Hong Kong could kick the housewives of Orange County, New York, Atlanta, or any other city’s ass.  As an average single person here in HK, I do very little besides working hard and playing hard.  My laundry is picked up and dropped off.  I’ve had groceries delivered.  To keep me humble, I’ve avoided hiring a domestic helper, but it’s very tempting— and affordable. 

Most people I know have a helper come in once a week to clean their apartment, do the laundry and ironing, dishes, and since they are on an hourly rate, they’ll walk your dog and run errands for you too.  Apartments are even outfitted with small rooms behind the kitchen to house your helper if you want some live in help.  If the average single Hong Konger lives like this, you can imagine the housewives are on a completely new level.  There is even a name for them.  They are called tai-tais. 

A lady of leisure in any country is basically the same.  They sleep in and spend their days shopping or at the spa, and spend nights at high profile events.  There is some debate on what exactly makes you a tai-tai.  The original definition implies wealth, but in today’s terms it reflects an existence of leisure and pleasure.

I’ve had little interaction with tai-tais in my three years living in Hong Kong.  Although I do feel like I’m living a life of privilege here, our paths rarely cross.  When they do, it’s usually when I’m taking a leisurely lunch, and you can spot them carrying heaps of shopping bags with their helper not far behind pushing the stroller. 

Tai-tais define HK landscape just as much as bankers, mainland Chinese tourists and designer shops.  They are citizens of the world, well traveled, and bred in Hong Kong or abroad.  A tai-tai can be from anywhere.  Many will spend parts of the year in other countries.  But establishing yourself here will take you to the next level of extravagance, no matter what your salary is.  This includes fine dining, lavish parties, access to a myriad of services, and spending the weekend on a boat or beach in Thailand.  Glamorous lifestyles are manufactured here, and as a result women become glamorous housewives.  I spoke to a couple housewives to find out more about their experience managing families in Hong Kong, and their ideas of tai-tai culture.

Katie and her husband Scott moved to Hong Kong from Australia a few years ago for a job opportunity.  Katie had always been in sales and business development, and although her career had been the main source of income, they knew Scott’s would be the main source in the future.  It was a non-issue when the time came for her career to take a backseat to his, although she believes many couples struggle with this.  “I used to really enjoy my career but haven’t missed it since being promoted to a full time mum, the most rewarding and challenging role of my life. There are some aspects from my career I miss though, but they are very few and far between.”

The view from the mid-levels

Katie and Scott enjoyed the cosmopolitan living in HK’s Mid-Levels above Central, but when they had their baby Bella, priorities changed.  They moved to another island.

Discovery Bay on Lantau Island is an unexpected neighborhood in this urban environment.  Only 20 minutes from Central by ferry, it’s a completely different world.  It’s suburbia.  No cars are allowed in DB, but you can get a golf cart to take you around.  It’s the place to live for some sense of normalcy, the kind of place you need to be if you have dogs or babies.  Yes, DB is endearingly referred to as “Dogs and Babies.”  Space is always an issue in Hong Kong, but in DB you can get a little breathing room. 

Katie and Scott never imagined leaving HK Island until they started a family.  Sidewalks are narrow and crowded, stairs exist with no ramps for stroller access, and there are few outdoor spaces to stretch your legs in Central.  Discovery Bay is much more family friendly, much less cramped, and has a more relaxed pace.  While children are demanding, their needs are very simple.  Space to run and space to grow makes us all happy humans.  “I guess it feels more like the lifestyle we had back home. I guess we are just trying to make the best of both worlds.”

It would appear Hong Kong housewives have the perfect setup, especially with a domestic helper to do the dirty work.  Katie feels very lucky to have a helper in the house, but this is the trade off from moving away from family and friends and everything you grew up with.  She would not have this luxury if she was in her homeland.  With her husband away on business for half the month, having the help is almost a necessity. 

Some mothers do not find Hong Kong as agreeable.  Emily gave birth to a little girl around the same time Katie had Bella.  But instead of moving to a different neighborhood, Emily and her husband Dean chose to leave Hong Kong altogether.  Upon moving to HK, they expected to be here about ten years.  When they had their daughter Sienna, many issues came up that hadn’t previously bothered them.  The main issues were lack of space, pollution, difficulty getting around with a stroller, and lack of facilities for baby care.

Pollution was the biggest issue for Emily and Dean.  If Sienna ever got seriously ill, they would never forgive themselves.  Air pollution is a serious problem in Hong Kong.  Besides asthma and other illnesses, local public health experts deem pollution responsible for 2,800 deaths a year.  Even if Hong Kong were a more family friendly city, health would still be a concern.      

The priority for both these mothers is family, and maintaining the best possible environment for their children.  While it is easy to get caught up in all the pleasures Hong Kong has to offer, these women are keeping it real.

I asked Emily and Katie if they consider themselves tai-tais.  Even though they currently do not work, they both responded no.

“To me a tai-tai is a woman that doesn’t work, and has no intention to do so, has no children to look after and spends all her rich husband’s money at The Landmark on a regular basis. I think it is perceived as a negative thing, but good luck to the women that can do it! I definitely don’t see myself as a tai-tai.” -Emily

“Tai-tai, that’s a pipedream for me! I don’t have any negative feeling towards it, but it’s certainly not a word I could call myself.  All the best to those who can.  Maybe one day? No I’d get bored being a kept woman shopping all day, although I’d like to give it a try…” -Katie

Labels reign

The word tai-tai is loaded with assumptions, stereotypes, and negativity, even more so than the word housewife.  But it can also be used as a term of endearment.  It can be applied to an affluent wife just the same as an average homemaker, although Katie and Emily do not think the title is appropriate for them.  Some women are uncomfortable with it because it comes with negative and superficial connotation.  They want to be an equal to their husband, not second place, and they want to feel as relevant in their homes as they would in the work force.  However, many women in Hong Kong do aspire to marry well and be dependent on their husbands, and people are ok with that. 

There is no male equivalent to the word tai-tai.

There are certain women who maintain substance without the label, and some prefer to flaunt it on their handbag.

Tai-tai culture is a symptom of the fast-paced Hong Kong lifestyle.  It is a product that can be packaged and sold where appearances and money are everything.  Fabulous getaways, spa experiences, and shopping excursions are marketed towards women who are looking to buy the merchandise and the way of life that comes with it.  Hong Kong is a place obsessed with labels, and tai-tai is just one of them.  It’s all about how you wear it.

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Christine Jagolino’s curiosity took her from Los Angeles to Hong Kong three years ago.  She works in the fashion industry, and likes quality time with her harmonica.  Living abroad raises so many questions, and she likes to explore them and more on her blog (http://friendshipnight.blogspot.com/)  Her dodgeball team has also recently won the bronze medal in their division.